Understanding Neurodivergence

Neurodivergence is a broad term that describes ways in which people’s brains may function differently from what is considered “typical”. These differences are not deficits or disorders in themselves – they are variations in how people experience, process, and respond to the world.

Two of the most commonly recognised forms of neurodivergence are Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). While often thought of separately, there is a great deal of overlap between them – especially among women and girls, whose experiences are often overlooked or misunderstood.

The overlap between ADHD & Autism

ADHD and autism can look quite different from person to person, but they do share some key features:

Sensory sensitivity – becoming easily overwhelmed by sounds, lights, textures or smells.
Social difficulties – language and communication, reading social cues, understanding unspoken rules.
Executive functioning challenges – issues with organisation, planning, starting or finishing tasks, overactivity
Issues of regulation– difficulty with managing emotions, behaviours, focus and attention (such as hyperfocus or monotropic thinking).

While someone might be diagnosed with either ADHD or autism, many people meet the criteria for both. Recent research suggests that a significant number of people with ADHD also show autistic traits, and vice versa.

The overlap between ADHD and autism (ASD) is significant, although the exact percentage varies depending on the study, population, and diagnostic criteria used. Based on some of the best peer-reviewed research available, with studies using meta-analysis and large clinical samples, an approximate guide to findings¹ at present is:

Around 50% of people with autism are likely to also have ADHD (range: 16%-75%)
Roughly a quarter to a third of people with ADHD may also have autism (range: 18-50%)

In summary, someone who is neurodivergent is more likely to have both ADHD and Autism (commonly referred to as AuDHD) than to have just one of these conditions.

Given the high rate of co-occurrence, shared traits and overlapping genetic links, these two diagnoses may actually exist along a broader neurodevelopmental spectrum – with each person expressing a unique blend of traits.

Many neurodivergent people diagnosed with AuDHD experience this as a genuine overlap, rather than two separate conditions. While some lean more towards ADHD-type traits (such as impulsivity, experience-seeking, or distractibility), others may identify more with autism-related traits (like deep focus, overthinking, or heightened sensitivity to sensory input).

Having been diagnosed around five years ago, I’ve come to understand the core experience of AuDHD as an ongoing internal negotiation — a kind of push and pull between competing forces: the need for excitement and stimulation, and the craving for predictability and order.

The Female Neurodivergent Experience

For women and girls, being neurodivergent often goes unnoticed due to a number of factors.

Masking

Females often have an increased aptitude for masking neurodivergent traits from an early age. Masking is the conscious or unconscious imitation of others’ behaviour — a way of blending in by mimicking social norms, expressions, or patterns of speech. Over time, masking can become second nature — not simply a habit, but a survival strategy.

Girls tend to be especially adept at this, largely due to a mix of social, developmental, and cultural influences. From a young age, they are often encouraged to be polite, agreeable, emotionally aware, and socially tuned in. Many internalise strong pressure to avoid standing out, causing disruption, or being seen as “difficult”.

Many autistic or ADHD girls develop camouflaging strategies, such as:

Copying peers to navigate social situations, mimicking tone, gestures, voice, style and appearance.
Rehearsing conversations or facial expressions (including forced eye contact)
Hiding overwhelm, anxiety, or confusion to appear “normal”.

While it may help someone to avoid standing out, this often comes at a cost and can lead to:

Exhaustion and burnout
Anxiety and depression
Loss of identity and low self-esteem
Other mental health struggles later in life.

Presentation & Diagnostic Tools

Neurodivergent traits in girls are more likely to show up different, such as daydreaming rather than hyperactivity (in ADHD), and shyness or intense interests rather than overt social withdrawal (in autism).

These are often mistaken for personality quirks rather than signs of neurodivergence. As a result, girls are less likely to be flagged for assessment, especially in childhood.

Much of the early research and diagnostic criteria for autism and ADHD was also based on boys, and girls whose traits don’t fit those patterns often go unrecognised or are misdiagnosed.

Many are first given labels like anxiety, depression, or eating disorders or may later be misdiagnosed with a personality disorder (usually BPD). Some are told they’re “too sensitive”, “too much”, or “overthinking”. For many women and non-binary people, an accurate understanding of their neurodivergence doesn’t come until adulthood, if at all.

Beyond Autism and ADHD: Other Forms of Neurodivergence

Neurodivergence isn’t limited to ADHD or autism. Other neurological differences also shape how people think and feel. These include:

Dyslexia – difficulty with reading and language processing.
Dyscalculia – difficulty understanding numbers and mathematical concepts.
Dysgraphia – challenges with handwriting and written expression.
Alexithymia – difficulty noticing, identifying and describing one’s emotions or bodily sensations (low sense of interoception).
Aphantasia – an inability to voluntarily visualise or form mental images (e.g. faces, places, objects etc).
Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) – difficulty in processing or understanding sounds or speech, especially in noisy environments.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – intrusive thoughts and compulsions that can severely impact daily life.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDD) – An extreme need for autonomy and avoidance of everyday demands due to high anxiety.

Some of these conditions can overlap with ADHD and autism. For example, alexithymia and pathological demand avoidance (PDD) are more common in people with autism, and OCD shares some features with autism, such as repetitive behaviours.
Research into these links is ongoing, and we’re learning more all the time.

Acquired Neurodivergence and Trauma

Not all neurodivergence is present from birth. For some, neurological changes can emerge as a result of early or prolonged trauma (Complex PTSD).

This might include:

Chronic childhood stress or neglect
Emotional or physical abuse
Disrupted relationships and early attachments

These experiences can shape how the brain develops and how a person processes emotions, relationships, and sensory information – sometimes in ways that closely resemble ADHD or autism.

Gentle Reminders…

Being neurodivergent is not a flaw. It’s a difference – sometimes challenging, often beautiful.
Support matters. Whether through counselling, diagnosis, or simply understanding yourself better, it’s okay to ask for help.
Many people live for years without understanding why day-to-day life can feel so challenging – and find clarity, peace, and strength once they do.

Affordable Counselling Network offers low-cost online therapy for individuals. If you’re navigating neurodivergence, diagnosed or not, and would value a supportive space to explore your experiences, please feel welcome to get in touch.

Image credit: Cat Regi (Badibidu) https://badibidu.com/pages/about-cat-regi-watercolour-artist

¹ Data Sources: